Can’t be fussed about anything

bo chap is ze middle name

Some people are just beyond me. June 23, 2007

Filed under: ACJC,Life's like this, eh?,Renzi-Ramblings — renzi @ 12:25 am

Really…today I was this close to swearing. Maybe I had quite a long day at work, or maybe I was already slightly irritated by certain antics of someone at work but man, someone almost made me swear a string of I would say, not-so-nice-words. As many would know, especially Mr Loy (because he tried SOOOOO hard to make me swear), I haven’t really been swearing. So this person really almost pushed me to…well…yeah…Keith…if u wanna make me swear, learn from this person. 🙂

One saving grace of today…well 2 actually… I met up with two of my boys, wait… I met up with Dom first. And I actually saw TWO of my loves on the streets (my cousin and Pseudo). I really had a good time with Dom, catching up with him and of course, getting a present for a dear friend of mine. I also met up with Ken. 🙂

Another thing tat made my day is…I’m officially unemployed! I’m officially a Zuo Bo-er…….for 2 days! hahahaha Hopefully the future would be better and yeah..too lazy to type anymore. zzz

Good night world.

 

The Tiger’s Child May 20, 2007

Filed under: Bookworm is my middle name,Life's like this, eh?,Quote — renzi @ 3:21 pm

I’ve been reading a couple of books lately and I’m tryin to read all of Torey Hayden’s books. I love how she deals with children (mostly disturbed) and well, her struggles that are tagged along with her rewarding passion. I also love how human she is, I mean she tries in her utmost best to be very objective but sometiems she finds herself unknowingly torn between the emotional, irrational side of her and well, how she normally is. This book is a continuation of this particular girl whom Hayden came across when she was in her early years of teaching. Anyway in one of the first parts of this book, she was explaining to Sheila about fighting in a relationship. I thought she summed it up nicely…

“We did fight,” I said softly. “Everybody fights, whatever the relationship, however good it might be. It wouldn’t be a relationship otherwise, because two separate people are coming together. Friction is a natural part of that.”

On top of this, I love what how Hayden remembers and describes vividly her encounters. Her descriptions are just so…nicely put (I wish I’d read this when I was much younger, so I could use some of these phrases in my essays). And sometimes I see Sheila in myself too. I mean, she is incredibly strong, attention-seeking, and angsty I might add. But a softer side of her occasionally creeps up, exuding and and even exposing her human vulnerabilities:

“Stop!” Sheila cried. Not only was it the first word she had spoken in the better part of an hour and a hald, which made it startling enough, but she said it with such suddenness that I fully expected to hit something with the car. I slammed on the brakes sufficiently hard to throw us both sharply forward. This made her smile briefly in my direction, before pointing to the east. ” Look at that”

For a short shining moment, colour was soverign. The wet asphalt of the road gleamed black against the sudden gold of the sunlit wheat. Beyond the ruffling grain rose the dark remains of the storm clouds, pierced through by a rainbow. Only a very short part of the rainbow was visible; there was not even enough to form a clear arc, but that small section shimmered brilliantly above the restless wheat.

“Oh God,” Sheila murmured softly, as she regarded the sight, “why do beautiful things make me feel so sad?”

—–

I reached up and wiped the tears away. ” I feel so helpless when something like this happens. I want to change things so badly and I just can’t”.

Her forehead wrinkling, she gazed in amazement. unlike me, she had remained dry-eyed.

“Sometimes it helps,” I said of my tears and wiped the last of them away. “In these circumstances, it’s about all there’s left for me to do”

—–

And Sheila’s realisation proved that Hayden’s efforts with her were, at last, worth it. Hayden’s patience with Sheila in encouraging her to accept the past and look beyond her circumstances paid off. And for a teen to speak with so much wisdom is astounding and herein lies a simple moral of the story:

“Well, I think I’ve come to the first point. I was just sitting here, thinking through, and you know, I don’t feel like it was my fault anymore. It still hurts like hell. I still wish it didn’t happen, but it did, and I can see now that maybe my mom just had her own problems, that is was just my bad luck to have been part of them.”

She pondered a moment. “And maybe that’s true for my dad too. Whatever. Anyway I’m thinking, like I can’t go over it, I can’t go under it, I can’t go around it. I’ve been trying all of them. So I better go through it.”

A small silence.
“I think I’m seeing things differently now,” she said. “I think I can accept it.”
“Good.”

“You know………..What i’ve been thinking most about is what you said about letting go. Accepting, forgiving and then letting go. I think I can accept. I think I can even forgive, but I’ve been wondering and wondering about letting go. Trying to figure out what “letting go” entails, and all I cant think of is that it means living your life forward. Starting to think of the future more than the past.”

A small pensive silence. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever lived my life forward before,” she said. “Even when I wasn’t remembering things, I was always wanting to go back.”

So yeah… go read the book if you can! I have the book, so if anything, just give me a ring and I’ll pass you the two books. Time to have a good sleep…or rest. It’s really a sunday today but thank God anyway 🙂

 

Jason Mraz has the Remedy May 10, 2007

Filed under: Life's like this, eh?,Lyrics — renzi @ 2:12 pm

I heard two men talking on the radio in a cross fire kind of new reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
they were counting down the days to stab the brother in the be right back after this
the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast his catastrophe
dance with me, because if you’ve got the poison, I’ve got the remedy

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you’re gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won’t worry my life away.
I wo’nt worry my life away.

I so adore this song. It’s really a nice uplifting song. Whenever I hear this song, I get really hyper and happy. 🙂 It’s really about life I suppose and how we live and learn through experience.

Anyway time to get back to work!

 

Backstabbed March 12, 2007

Filed under: I'm a slave for...........Work,Life's like this, eh?,News — renzi @ 10:01 am

Did u read, in Sunday Times, about this person who stabbed his fellow co-worker in the back in the kitchen (Soup Spoon in City Hall)? He died shortly after…

Goes to show that you’ll never know when you get stabbed in the back at work…

 

How true is this January 19, 2007

Filed under: Life's like this, eh?,Love — renzi @ 4:00 pm

Indeed. You only want something back when you lose it.

 

Stay hungry. Stay foolish. January 11, 2007

Filed under: Life's like this, eh?,Love,Quote — renzi @ 12:53 pm

Got this inspiring website from JS. I remember getting this email from someone. The quote that struck me once again was…

“If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”

Practically speaking, it’s hard to accomplish that. Of course, ideally, I would love to do that but…is this possible? In terms of, ahem, relationships, I’ve tried that but I crashed and burnt myself. I mean all that I’ve gotten out from that is…the fact that I know that I’ve tried but that’s about it.

Oh well…something to think about anyway.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish eh?

How about a quote from me…
Stay hungry and die young. Stay foolish and burn in hell.

 

Adoration January 3, 2007

I still remember this weekend. It was a really loooong weekend due to two public holidays coinciding. Good for me, because I had a great rest. I did go out of course, but I didn’t overdo it, like my previous 2 months. *grin*

I was out with my buddies after my facial and dental appointment. I had to do something really important and I was so damn glad that they were rooting for me, and they were there to see me crumble (for the last time in a while). Being with them for the rest of the Saturday made my day. Their stupid remarks just made me grin, even though I was still slightly blue. I shall put up photos when I can upload them photos. Anyway we were walking to Telok Kurau when I started talking about crushes, Kangwei to be exact.

Karen then made this stupid comment saying “I also had a crush what…(long pause) David Tao!”

I was speechless then. Stupid silly bestie! hahahaaha! But I am genuinely happy to have Rongyang and Karen with me at my lowest point.

On Sunday, dad drove me to church. We suddenly mentioned my grandmother. He asked whether I dreamt of her. I nodded quietly without making any noise. He then continued by saying that sometimes he still felt my grandmother’s presence and dreamt of her. But the more important phrase, dad said, that struck me really made me tear almost immediately was:

You know that Mama adored you right?
All I could do, or the only action that I could do was to nod. There was then this moment of silence when both of us looked out of the window, I know I teared. Grans’ passing was a few years back but we still miss her. I know Dad does, and I do too. We just, well, haven’t really the time to…well…I don’t know. It was just a poignant moment.

You’ll never know how much you miss a person or how much you love a person until…you lose the person.

When you ever ever ever see or meet someone whom you know you love, treasure him/her with all your heart. More importantly, treasure your family. Sigh…

I miss Mama…. I wish I could be there when she was at her deathbed. But I guess, she knew that I loved and still love her…

Really…treasure them, before you lose them, and regret it for life.